Bottling Up.

You wanted to know what I'm thinking when my thoughts were full.
I tried to speak up.
You acknowledged it without doing anything.
I don’t know where did the old you go — The one that would call just to hear my voice, send a long text message just to express your thoughts.
I guess that’s gone since a long time ago when you gave up trying to know what I’m thinking.
And now it became a habit  — a bad habit, to stop contacting with each other.
When will we ever learn and grow out of it?

Floating.

I need more than 24 hours a day, or perhaps longer holidays.
I went to sleep every night with the fear of not being able to complete what I wanted to study.
Thought that yesterday was Friday when in actual fact, Friday just started four hours ago.
Either way, I guess I won't be able to complete studying since I don't understand a single thing.
That aside, deadlines for the projects are getting nearer and nearer and yet I have not touched a single one of them.
Been staying home for a week and nope, no progress at all.
It's impossible to understand those concepts.
Maybe this course is just not suitable for me.
Or maybe schooling itself is not suitable for me at all.
I'm just trying to survive in this course.
To be honest, I've no future plans at all after university.
I'm just floating around in the vast ocean to either get eaten up by sharks or continue to hope for some miracle to save me from this situation.
It stressed me to the point that everyone's gone, mentally.
Back to where I started.
Alone.